Sunday, September 24, 2017

Live and Let Live

Have I become weird or is it totally annoying to wish someone on a Whatsapp group? I feel I will be judged if I don’t wish someone. I feel there are prying eyes on each group who have nothing better to do than check who is wishing whom. 

Just today, there are three people that I have to wish on a couple of family Whatsapp groups, and guess what, they are not even in the group! It is like being pushed to call someone else's phone and screaming so that the birthday girl hears her wish. Do such wishes even count?

When I wish, I really want to wish. I hate being forced. 

On being forced, Karwachauth is around the corner! I have expressed my views on a fast that puts you on gunpoint and tells you that if you don’t fast your husband would die! Really? I have those superpowers? Thank goodness I don’t come from a family that fasts on various occasions believing they will be rewarded for their good Karma just by doing so. How rebellious I would have been in that case!

Forcing someone, passing sarcastic remarks, saying ‘oh, you don’t remember me’ is such a put-off. I am not an awesome person, I am not sweet, and I am certainly not meant to please people around. I am very selfish and I will do what I feel like. Stop forcing me!

I use to hate my mother tell me what to do. She came under my wrath quite often. The Boy understands my trait very well, and so he has never ever told me to do anything. Any ‘order’ is met with such scolding that poor fellow doesn’t ever utter a word. I hate being told to do something so much that even if someone asks me for a glass of water, I hate it!

I can do a million things for a person if I feel like doing it. Putting me under pressure puts the said person in my hit-list. Sarcastic comments go very badly with me and I tend to act in exactly the opposite manner. If I want something, I ask people very politely keeping their comfort zone in mind and having very low expectations of things being done. All I expect in return is being able to live my life the way I feel like.

Is this a rant? No, this is general observation from what I have been seeing around me lately. Only my family and because I love my Boy, so his family, can make me do things. Other than that, I owe nothing to anyone. Infact I wish on Whatsapp groups only because I don’t want our families to get rude remarks on our behaviour, you know, if there was a parent-teacher meeting a.k.a a wedding around the corner.

How people live in a made-up society of I-called-you-for-dinner-so-you-call-me-for-dinner is something I will never understand. The forced give and take is abhor-able. No one wants to do it yet everyone follows the societal norms. You can call me an outcast if you wish, but I will do what I feel like. 

Over and out! 

Thursday, August 31, 2017

The Drinking Game

I started drinking alcohol at the age of six. My dad is a regular whiskey consumer; I distinctively remember taking a sip from his glass and going eww. After that, I took a break for 10 years or so.

#Attentionseekingopeningline



My next rendezvous was with a screwdriver from my brother's glass. This must be when I was 17. We were on the dance floor with a few of his friends and he offered me to drink. It is the coolest thing to have an older brother. And some cute guys for his friends whom I refused to call bhaiya!

He then offered me to buy my own whenever we went out dining sans the parents. I was not a fan and this use to be a half yearly occasion which really didn't worry an elder brother.

I made my friends have their first drink from my kitchen when we were 19 maybe. Mom was watching and it wasn't a big deal.I just knew how to mix Vodka with orange juice or Sprite. I did just that and we all had a ball in my pink room. Yes, it was always pink even till when I was 26.  The bravest thing I did was to make myself a drink once while chatting online with the Boy. I can't remember what got into me; I tiptoed into the kitchen at 1 in the night and made myself a Vodka and something. I remember washing the glass nicely before sleeping and feeling super grown-up.

On my last birthday before I got married, I got sloshed with my bestie and saw a movie. It was a laugh riot and the memory of it is still clear in my head. Oh, I think I have a blog post as well - the perks of blogging and documenting my life here since 10 years!

After marriage, drinking became a norm. It was the start of hostel life for me which I never experienced before the age of 26. I was starting to live alone with a boy and with that came weekends, clubbing, bar hopping, exploring the best pubs in town and socializing with his bachelor friends. I got drunk numerous times and had a lot of fun. Why is life more fun after a couple of drinks, I'll never understand. And yes, I never got out of control or lost my mind.



I wrote another drunk post here. Well, ummm, meh.

I am not addicted, but I also don't believe in drinking carbonated drinks without adding a certain rum/vodka in them. If I am with friends, I don't mind beer or wine. I absolutely love to drink with girls because we end up laughing so hard. This brings me to the second part of this post..

To be cont.

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Making the Two Left Feet, Right

Have you ever gone a full 34 years of your life without going on stage and doing a little dance? Well, I have. And a ramp walk doesn't count!

My classmates and teachers were all very sweet, but the performances that we had in school required a high level of strength and stamina which I didn't showcase. So while there were concerts every second year, I either stood in a choir and sang (apparently like Michael Jackson, at least that's what the cutest Sir in school said when I sang 'Heal the World'!!) or I watched over kids from Nursery and ate from their tiffins during break time.

Did you know kids bring the tastiest meals and when you are a didi monitoring them, they can give you their life, leave alone alphabet shaped frymes. I even had my favourite kids whom I looked forward to meeting every day.

I had another friend in tow who did not perform because she had too many male admirers in school! She and I became besties and in the duration, I gathered my own share of fans.

Well, I digress.

Post school, I was too conscious. My friends and family were extra sweet and so they never pushed me hard enough to get out of my comfort zone. While I danced on every dance floor I saw, I stayed away from any place that came under public scrutiny. My steps didn't match Katrina, but when I saw Sunny Deol, my confidence went up by leaps and bounds. God bless that angel.

Marriage brought me another pair of left feet in the form of the Boy. While I lacked confidence, he didn't seem to have form. From what I can safely assume, Sunny Deol learnt from him.

Now we have a multitude of friends here in Bahrain. Some are sweet and some are crazy. The sweet ones would go out of their way to make life comfortable for us. The crazy ones, however, don't care about how pleasant all experiences are, they just want memories which can lead to all sorts of leg pulling.

On a drunken night we decided to do a funny mime dance for a friend's party. Since it was a standing performance, both me and the Boy agreed. What followed were some of the best experiences of my life.

We asked a friend to help us out who bailed at the last moment. We then devised our own dance steps which we could perform at ease. However, we were being too simple and it didn't seem to work. We looked for a cheap choreographer, and luckily found one called V.

On the first day, V came and by all means was devastated to see her disciples. While three could do whatever maneuver she did, four of us threw tantrums. The Boy even talked about walking out because he was too confused with every left, right, turn, twist, jiggle... 'I did not sign up for this,' were his exact words!!

We thought we will let fate decide and see how it goes, one day at a time. On the second day, we had come practiced and V knew what she was in for. She taught us simple, cool and funny steps and all was good with the world. We joked, we practiced, and had a lot of fun. It was just a 4-minute jig, and time seem to end pretty fast.

Me and the Boy practiced at home as well. Our confidence came with the fact that we knew all steps! He can make the cutest faces and I can just woo with my, you know, being there!

On the D-Day, we all were nervous as hell. In my gold sequence skirt I stood at the back with the Boy and hoped all to go well. The music started and there was a lot of hooting. Bringing on the Kala Chashma brought more cheers. I just forgot one step. I did not fall (the Boy had a back up plan for that, he said he will start doing Naagin dance if I did fall!).

People came up to me and praised the Boy's cute expressions and my skirt. I told you, I woo by just being there!

I can't think of a better experience. From absolutely zero confidence, to attaining at least some of it, we went a long way in the last week. I thought of the many moments of feeling rejected in school. When we grow up, we can be whatever we want to be. We have a judgmental society that stops us from doing what we love, but that should not stop us. For all you know, that society is unsure of its own strengths and weaknesses and applauds you for your bravery. I can vouch for this because I saw people with confidence crumple a tad under pressure.

And these crazy friends, keep them close. They can make you do things you never thought you could do. They balance the hot and sweet in your life, they bring equilibrium to madness and sanity, they dig you out from your shell pretending nothing is wrong. You think they don't understand you, but they do, in a whole different way. They have that unique ability to change the next 34 years of your life for you.

Like they did for me.

I know, the skirt. The right side even had a slit!
The dance picture has others, and I am not authorized to post!

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Hello 2017!

It has been 8 months into 2017, and today is the first day I feel really good about everything. It might change tomorrow because history has proved me wrong time and again, but I am not going to let that change anything about today. Lots happened this year that made me a stronger, better person. Life's lessons, health lessons and personal growth - all at once!

When they say health is wealth, they are not lying. You can buy everything your heart desires, you can own a house, a luxury car or go to exotic destinations in first class, but if your body is not feeling good, you will not be happy in the true sense of the word. We do try to ignore our problems because, well, you can't be brooding over things that can't change, but our heart never feels in the right place. Wealth does help us to cover up our problems and give us temporary relief, but it cannot give us peace.

Oh, too many buts in those two paragraphs!

So I took a weight loss package in the beginning of this year because I have been recommended to lose some kilos by doctors. I did really well and felt proud. However, the plan backfired and with losing weight, I lost a lot of strength. I traveled to India alone and had my worst day when I could not even walk at an outing. It was the lowest low in my life and I was shaken to the very core. I feared my present and the future and did not know what to do.

Like everything wrong that has ever happened, I thought that this too shall pass. I tried various things that I have tried in the past but they did not seem to work. I really thought it will never change. In June, we went for a vacation and nothing felt right. It was a beautiful place, I was in good company, the plans worked great, still, I was not cheerful at all.

I came back and met a few doctors. I went online and researched whatever I could. I even made friends with people who seemingly had my condition. I spoke to my friends for encouragement. I spoke to my doctor relatives who spoke to specialists. I saw YouTube videos of conferences held for similar diseases. It was panic and a great deal of it!

To say that I was feeling low would be an understatement. No one knows about it though. Yes, there are things I didn't do. I didn't give up. I didn't not smile in public. I didn't stop enjoying life the way I should be.

Only lately I found a physiotherapist who seems to understand me. Just four sessions with her and I feel better, partly because she told me that I look like a 23-24 year old! Ya, well, I agree.

Now, like I said, history has proved me wrong time and again. That will and should not let me not be happy. There are a few things I fear, yet there are a thousand things I am grateful for. To be honest, it is this gratitude that has kept me going. I do my pranayaam in the morning and thank God for every small thing. Even in these hard times I did not ask for anything because I know it is not about that. Strength comes from believing in yourself and staying positive. Gratitude keeps me positive.

I've not written much this year, I really don't feel like it. Lets hope this will change as well. I haven't even written about my trip to Croatia and Slovenia because of all the lull surrounding it and it depresses me when I think about how I felt there. I have 4 trips lined up for this year and finally I am looking forward to them. There is something else also that I would share in the next post. It is going to be awesome, for me at least!

Until next time, keep smiling and never give up. That keeps you awesome and helps you look like a 23 year old forever.

P.S. I took my first step into middle age yesterday, had to put henna in my hair to hide the white strands. Oh, I look 23 despite that, just FYI.

P.P.S Did I tell you I love my new therapist? 

Saturday, July 22, 2017

Plitvice National Park - A hike to remember!

As someone who is not completely independent physically, Plitvice was never meant for me. That's a harsh line to start with, but that's how it is. Although I was completely in awe of Dubrovnik in the south and taken by the beauty of Plitvice National Park, I had several lows during this vacation which continue to haunt me. I was obviously questioning myself continuously - how can I not like a vacation? And so I tried to have the best time that was possible. Writing about it, well, not so easy!



You see it was not the location's fault. Plitvice National Park has 16 waterfalls and several small ones. One of the most beautiful ones lets you feel its mist when you pass by it. It is no Niagara falls, but here you are on foot and you can stay as long as you like. 

The mountains around it gives the National Park the most beautiful views. You can choose from several routes depending on your ability to walk and hike. I did my research really well. I spent hours over the Internet reading how this area was for elderly. It was not wheelchair accessible so that should have been my first clue about the effort it takes to walk around - I ignored it.

We took the most downhill walk - Route E for Upper lakes on Day 1. We started at 4.30 in the evening so that there are fewer crowds - it was ideal. We stopped a hundred times - I did! We took in all the love nature had to give us. It even rained a bit while we were walking. We were literally walking above the falls and lakes which is so rare in this world.

The most beautiful moment for me - where I could feel the mist.

I am a nature lover. I love to get lost amongst the trees even if there are just 5 of them. So Plitvice was high on my priority list. Croatia is not the richest country out there yet they have tried to maintain this place in all its natural form. There were paths that were uneven clogged by small stones. The wooden tracks were really well-maintained. But there were far too many steps for me. I have never climbed this many in a single day in my entire life. It was hard - very hard, especially at the end. 

I hardy took any pictures and I couldn't do the Lower Lakes the next day because I thought that my body won't be able to take it. Wise decision! 



At the end I was pleased with myself. This route takes 2.5 hours at max, I took 5. But I did it. It was like running a marathon for me. Or climbing Everest. Really, it was! I have to give it to the Boy, I can't imagine anyone else with the amount of patience and love he has. He was there - at every step, every climb, every resting spot - with a smile on his face and a joke to make me laugh. Have I told you he is an angel?


Howeverrrrr, being proud is not good enough! This hike took a toll on my body and my muscles are yet to recover from the fatigue even after 3 weeks. My only fear is what if they don't recover and I have this new low for life? I am trying to do all that is in my capacity to get back to normal - including wining, dining, dancing, laughing and standing on one leg.

I still don't blame the lakes, I don't even blame my health for how I am feeling. I love this beautiful life in all its glory. And I love the fact that I am strong in the mind and happy in my soul. I am grateful for the capacity to travel and I am thankful for having the most patient and most giving partner. Is there anything else we need in life? 


P.S. Since I am not the right person to give tips on these lakes, I would refrain from giving you any. To anyone else who is normal physically - do make an overnight trip to Plitvice Jezera. Do half of it after 4 and the other half at 8 in the morning. The paths are really narrow, and the crowds are humongous. You will love the space and time you get in the evening. Don't make a day trip - that's so boring!

Thursday, July 20, 2017

Visa Trivia

When you reach a time in your life when you can travel frequently, that is when you realise the nationality that you have and how it affects your travel plans. You begin to look for countries where you can travel visa-free and feel disheartened when those countries are not in your priority list. India ranks a sad 77 in terms of strength of passport and we have flexible visa options with only 49 countries. Oh, the third world problems!

Me and the Boy have a 10-year multiple entry US visa. We also have a touch-wood-wear-evil-eye worthy 3-year Schenghen visa. With this comes the benefit of entering quite a few countries because, well, when the big Daddy has give you legal entry, who are small kittens to deny you one!

Now America and famous European countries have consulates in major cities. But what happens when you want to go to a place like Cuba which has confusing entry terms and no consulate in your country? They expect you to post your passport to the nearest consulate for visa. Now a passport is something which is more dear to me than my, I was going to say life, but I heard how childish I sound, so, something a little less than that! How could we courier our passport? Can't you just spy on me on Facebook and give me a damn visa! I've found husbands for my friends through that, this is just a tiny entry stamp!

However, in comparison, if you are born in a rich, white country, you are a saint. You can enter several countries without any prior visa stamp. On last count, Americans can travel to 156 countries without a visa, Germans to 158. These are the people who go to Google Flights and don't type a destination city. Google baba entertains them with several options and they can take a flight to the cheapest destination without having to worry about an 'interview' date. The rich become richer and we remain as poor as a church mouse when it comes to travel. See, you will never find any Indian who has traveled to all countries in the world while there are many from these privileged nations who have achieved their target, albeit in a very stupid way. More on that later.

In another comparison, citizens of Afghanistan can go to 22 countries without having to worry about immigration - and I thought we were a much more developed and friendly nation. The difference here doesn't make us look that way.

My cousin who wanted to celebrate her brother's birthday in Croatia couldn't travel because of visa. Vacationers from smaller towns have to take visa appointments in metros like Delhi and Mumbai and travel there several weeks before their actual travel dates just to get a stamp. And imagine the woes of a family member who's loved one lives abroad and is in dire need to travel because of some emergency. Sushma Swaraj certainly cannot help everyone on Twitter.

Yes that's a serious problem unlike mine. But hey, I have other problems, so lets not judge here! I wish to travel freely... that's the only thing that keeps me alive. If the planes were faster, and tickets were cheaper, we would be flying a lot more than we already do. Or maybe not, 'cause the border restrictions will remind me that I belong to a country that is not welcome in more than a handful without legally checking my status. We would then be forced to give up our careers and move to Canada or Australia because somehow these countries have a solid passport and need more people to populate their region. We will get residency and citizenship thereafter and then lead a blissful life. It is another thing that without a job, we won't have the money to travel. But hey, atleast we will have freedom and old-age benefits... oh yes, more on that later as well!

Visa problems have made us alter our next vacation plan and hence the rant. India is a beautiful country with diverse flora, fauna and culture. Our food is next to none and the love in our country is unbeatable. We should be welcoming more people so that atleast the reciprocity rate will improve. I am glad Modi is trying to improve foreign relations, and hopefully that will benefit us in terms of immigration too.

Although India offers e-visa for several countries, reciprocity terms are not equal. In the 70's Indians could travel to countries like England and Germany without a visa, but illegal immigration led to stricter rules. I agree that we jump at the first opportunity of getting a stronger passport, but we need to have some flexibility for people who, atleast on paper, look like they won't migrate.

Since the smart-phone came into the picture, traveling has become much easier. Booking, navigating and exploring has become a cakewalk. Lets hope before my joints start to pain and before we have to use our entire savings on some God-forsaken disease, we will be able to travel freely and more frequently. Border control - are you listening!?

Monday, July 10, 2017

Back, Back Baby!

It's a mean thing to do - abandoning your baby for this long. I mean this blog of course. Hasn't it been there for me in all the ups and downs in the last few years?

This year has been tough. Although I like challenges, I am finding it hard to look at the bright side. Socially I am doing supremely well; you know, putting up pictures of the vacation, laughing out loud with friends, the works. I like that part of me but internally, internally I am struggling to find peace, hope and happiness. Oh well, it is not as bad as it sounds. Let me not be so melodramatic!

You see, when I refuse a friend to go to a mall, that is where I draw a serious line. That is where I know I am really not feeling well. I did that yesterday. It was hard, refusing to go and shop, window-shop and just enjoy good company - ah, only I know how I did it. I looked at the whole world on the Internet just to get over that trauma. I planned all our vacations for next year as well!

But this planning, it lets you down sometimes. I went to Plitvice Lakes in Croatia last month. I read everything to the T. I planned, I asked around, I made sure I would be fine. Heck, I even bought a stick so that I am not completely relying on the Boy. Damn you Internet, you betrayed me for the first time. My day in Plitvice was the hardest day in the fun movie that is my life! I struggled with every step, every hike, every simple walk. I did not regret it one bit - it was an achievement in every way. I even told the Boy that now I can feel how marathon runners feel. Yes, the simple hike in one of the most beautiful natural parks was like that for me. I rejoiced in my victory.

The days that have followed have not been so joyful. I am not allowed to tire myself out. And this time, I took advantage. I squeezed my muscles like Indian moms squeeze out the last bit of toothpaste from the tube. Now my body is use to being treated like how Indian moms treat their sons, sooo...

To cut a long story short, I've been down but not completely out. I have learnt that old people in this world have become immensely fit and so I cannot Google about their experiences and feel I will be able to manage. I even find some women in their 70's so sexy! No, no, I am not kidding. Watch Grace and Frankie on Netflix and see how to age gracefully. Jane Fonda is 80 years old and she can give a few 40-year olds a serious run for their money. I am totally inspired! You must Google her aerobic videos - they were a rage in the 80's!

So coming back to meee - I'll be kind to my baby now. I'm planning to write a whole lot in the coming months. I am not sure how I will document my vacation because I did not enjoy it so much and I don't want to brood because I hate to be that person who cribs! I will show you the rosy side and you will love it. I leave you with this amazing picture the likes of which made me take up the challenge I was never meant to:

Where the woods are lovely, the waterfalls are serene and the Boy makes his usual faces!
Plitvice National Parks, Croatia.