Monday, March 26, 2012

Reality Bytes, err, Bites.

Honesty is the best policy but not all of us are brave enough to blurt out the truth. More often than not, we say something but feel exactly the opposite. Sometimes I've been blatantly honest. I've always regretted that. People want you to be nice rather than frank. What do you do? Simple, tame your tongue, something that I'm still learning.

You say: I’m a little full right now.
When You want to say: I spend an hour in the gym, eat a salad for dinner, drool while walking across a bakery…yes, you jackass, I’m on a diet and not all Samosas are worth the effort!

You say:
Yes we will *smile*.
When You want to say: I’d rather freeze my eggs till eternity than have a kid before my 1st wedding anniversary. We’re not rats. Maybe we are child-hating weirdoes’. Go figure. Instead of asking me, go ask your own daughter if she knows how to have sex during the three ‘magical’ ovulation days!

You say: I don’t know how the day passes.
When you want to say: I cook, clean, watch tv, socialise, shop, exercise, chat, sleep, read, write and well, breathe. You’ll be jealous of my awesome-housewife life. Oh wait, you already are!

You say: Really, I didn’t notice that.
When you want to say: I already read where you went, when you went, how you looked crappy in your swimming costume and what you did during your four days in Goa. I might not update my status message for months, but I keep an eye, or rather several eyes on Facebook all day!

You say: Oh, your child is so cute.
When you want to say: I think she has a squint. And why the hell she’s so grumpy all the time? I’m not a child-hating weirdo, but seriously, all kids are not cute!

You say: It’s just a game.
When you want to say: Why the hell did I agree to play in the first place.

You say:It's fun.
When you want to say: My boss is a character straight out of a Vampire series and my colleagues are the Who's who of Indian Television. Every morning, it is only the thought of my pay slip that makes me wake up. You still want to know how's my job?

Ah, wish I could speak as smoothly as I could write this. Wish my face didn't divulge my thoughts before my mouth! Do you wish the same?