Tuesday, August 28, 2012

The 'Just Married, Please Excuse' Contest

I'm joining a noble cause. Yashodhara Lal has written a book and she's running a contest on her blog to publicize the book. Best entries also win copies of her book and if you're living in Delhi, a lavish lunch. I'm doing my Karma here without expecting anything in return (except that I have a thank you speech ready!). 

This is a hic-story of my bumpy, joy-ride within 24-hours of tying the nuptial knot. It started exactly after the pheras. Do you remember your vachans? All I remember is the Boy telling me that the Pandit has asked him to promise that he will not take me to any place which serves alcohol and that includes my father’s house which has an extremely fancy bar. I rolled my eyes and made a face, obviously.

Anyway, I howled like a baby during the vidai. Guess what the Boy did? He counted how many else were crying. For starters, chivalry spelled with an S to him! When I sat in the orchids adorned car, his 3-year old nephew jumped onto my lap. He had been watching the engagement video since the last 2 months and for him, I was a ghaghra-choli clad heroine straight out of a fascinating movie. I was teary eyed but being treated like a superstar did put a smile on my painted face.

Just married, I had little respect for my 4-year old boyfriend who was supposedly my pati-parmeshwar now. When my sisters put their heads in the car's window to make their final bid for the jooti, the Boy swayed the shoes and cheekily remarked on their incompetence to steal the pair. I couldn’t bear the insult and snatched them from him. The jootis flew out of the window and a loud cheer filled the air. It was my revenge for not sympathizing with me during my vidai. Yes, for starters, I settled scores to the T.

Skipping what happened ‘that’ night, we went to meet my parents the next afternoon. Alcohol was served and all the promises made to the Priest were broken. The Boy felt relieved for he needed to loosen up in front of 50 strangers who swarmed him like he was some Brad Pitt. He was treated like a king and my Angelina Jolie like stance was consciously ignored. He unabashedly gulped down 2 pints of beer and took to being a perfect son-in-law like a fish to water. 

Amidst unruly giggles, I was inappropriately questioned about the ‘crime’ I may have committed last night. For heaven's sake, he was my boyfriend since 4 years and this was the 21st century, I didn’t have to pretend to be innocent any longer. My face expressed it all but to my delight, they couldn’t haww anymore. Suddenly a taboo became a mantra for a happy life ahead! 

At nightfall, a bottle of champagne was opened in my new sasural. Another time, same promise – broken. I maybe a modern woman of the 21st century who occasionally gets tipsy in shorts and doesn’t believe in the most sought after ‘virtue’ in the land of Kamasutra, but out of respect, I do feel shy to drink alcohol in front of my in-laws. They gave me a glass and after much deliberation I took a sip. It was a daunting task to see a glass-full of champagne and not drink it. All eyes were on me and they pretended nothing was unusual.

After about half an hour, I couldn’t bear it. When there was movement around the house I went to my room and gulped down the glass of golden nectar. Oh, I could guzzle down several more if it were to me but I remembered that I was just married and had no excuse for my sinful cravings.

I remember laughing a lot after that. I also remember doing a small jig with the nephew. He still thought I was a celebrity. I’m glad I didn’t give him an autograph. I’m also glad that I didn’t sing the song while doing the steps. I remember the Boy laughing with me to save me from embarrassment later. He was the only one in the room who knew what the heck was going on.

Ah, that’s the hic-story of Day-1 of my new life. In the last 3.5 years, the hics and stories related to them have increased manifold. However, the real golden nectar is my Boy who keeps me high all the time. Cheers to that!

Thursday, August 9, 2012

My baby's baby is on it's way...

I had to post this before I left for Turkey. One of my best friends is ready to pop out, and this went in the card (paper and not E!) we sent her for a Long-Distance baby shower! She also finds a mention here and here and here.

Should we buy pink ribbons or a little blue cap
Should we pick leather shoes or a belly with a strap
It’s Twenty Twelve – The year of our dearest Yosha
Batao batao, Ladki hogi ki Ladka?

Bets are on, stakes are high
Yosha, on the other hand, is learning a lullaby
Plump and bubbly, she’s looking like a dolly
Imagine how cute she’ll look singing ‘lalla lalla lori’!

High school romance taking a new turn
We predicted Dalmatians, but you know what we want hon?
Your sweetness and his brains, your dedication and his charm
Beauty like maasi’s won’t do much harm!

We wish you lots of love and a life full of bliss
Lots to look forward to, tonnes of happiness
We wish the best of best to our niece or nephew
Yosha and Nitin, may God bless you!

Y, we are excited, supremely excited!

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

And here I go again!

Where History meets Zara
Where Europe meets Asia
Where Mosques are blue
C’mon isn’t that a big Clue?

Where beaches are plenty
Where you devour a special coffee
Where underground cities find a place
No idea? You cute Nutcase!

Where clubbing reaches new heights
Where boats pass picturesque sights
Where albums are titled ‘xyzee’ delight
I’ll tell you all about it, sit tight!

Okay, that’s where I’m going for my vacation and I cannot be more thrilled. Last few days have been immensely busy. With in-laws at home and me doing an appropriate amount of seva, I have no time to think and write. A fellow gossip monger (!!) and a very dear friend is leaving the country for good and I haven’t been able to spend time with her too. I can’t imagine how dull my life will be once she leaves (sad smiley).

Good news is, Eid is around the corner and so is our annual vacation. I have researched yet again to the T but done no shopping (grrr!) so far. My closet needs a lot of thinking. After all, it’s a holiday and pictures need to be perfect (winks!).

Yes, I’m all smiles at a kilo less than last month! I will not count the medals, think about the drought, worry about acid attacks or a million other things that are making me pity at the state India is in right now. It's that time of the year when I go away from the earth awhile. See you fellas, wait for an awesome travelogue! And before I go, here is a verse from one of my favorite poems:

Birches By  Robert Frost 

...So was I once myself a swinger of birches.
And so I dream of going back to be.
It's when I'm weary of considerations,
And life is too much like a pathless wood
Where your face burns and tickles with the cobwebs
Broken across it, and one eye is weeping
From a twig's having lashed across it open.
I'd like to get away from earth awhile
And then come back to it and begin over.
May no fate willfully misunderstand me
And half grant what I wish and snatch me away
Not to return. Earth's the right place for love:
I don't know where it's likely to go better.
I'd like to go by climbing a birch tree,
And climb black branches up a snow-white trunk
Toward heaven, till the tree could bear no more,
But dipped its top and set me down again.
That would be good both going and coming back.
One could do worse than be a swinger of birches.