Wednesday, February 25, 2015

The Days of our Lives

Every morning, I wake up around 6:15 in the morning to make breakfast for the Boy. I pack his lunch and a box of fruits. He likes to eat all kinds of things in the morning - except something that is easy to make. Like he despises cereals. But I'm not complaining.

I just love to pamper him and get pampered in return. I feel super guilty if I don't make a meal. He's okay with eating outside, but I'm not. Not on weekdays that is. Weekends are something I look forward to. We eat atleast 3 meals outside and that makes up for the week.

Our weekends are special. We laze around at home and watch a tv series or a movie. We go on long drives, from one end of the country to the other. We go for breakfast, coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, brunch, everything. And we never plan. We kind of just get up one moment and go out the other. Sometimes we decide where we will go only once we sit in the car.

I love our time in restaurants/cafes. I don't know how, but we always have things to talk about. We've been together for 12 years now, and it is surprising that we still find things to discuss. And when we don't have anything, we play scrabble!

There will be times you will find us both glued to our screens trying to beat each other in a game. I love to make good words, and he, he just finds the scoring tiles and manages to fit his tiles in them. Sometimes he wins more than 3 games in a row. That's when it gets nasty. I beat him, bite him, and try everything in my control to just make him resign. But he doesn't.

We even play ball - you know, the catch catch kind. It's funny how we manage to keep the enthusiasm going.

It is in moments like these that I touch wood. Sometimes I feel if it is all too good to be true. I love him so much. And I feel so loved when he is around. I wait for him to kiss me in the morning before leaving for work. I wait to hug him when he comes back. When it is evening, and he is home, and if I have to go out at that time, I absolutely hate it.

It's a beautiful feeling - this love. You've got to feel it, dear reader. If you haven't felt it yet, find that someone. Don't just sit around waiting for it to happen. Go to a book club, go to a park, go online - just do it. You've got to make these days the days of your life.

P.S. I got all mushy after seeing this video. There is a little bit of me in this. There is a lot of him in this too. And I wish all of us find a piece of our story in this as well.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Are women that easy?

So I saw this advertisement a few days back. A wife is angry that her husband has missed their anniversary for 3 years in a row. She calls him and tells him that she is going to her mother’s place. To make his wife feel better, the husband goes online, orders a few gifts for the wife and sends them across to her mother’s place. At the end of the advert, the wife seems to have forgiven the husband.

In another real life incident, someone told us about Zee. Zee is a womanizer and his wife knows about it. When I asked this someone how the wife takes all this shit, he told us that Zee buys her lots of expensive presents.

It’s a worrying scenario. All it takes for a woman to feel happy is a materialistic gift. Why is it that gifts hold such a significant value in a female’s life? As kids, both boys and girls receive equal number of gifts. As we enter teenage, we see girls carrying on the tradition while boys just forget about it. When we enter adulthood, it is more important for a boy to buy his girlfriend a ‘surprise’ gift than vice versa. Frankly, I don’t understand why it all changes.

And I don’t understand why it continues for life. I’ve never seen a man feel as ecstatic as a woman when he gets a gift. A friend who started working recently got an expensive wallet for her husband. The husband, though touched by the gesture, told the wife that he doesn’t see any use of a wallet that costs 10 times his present one and so they should go to the shop and buy something for her instead. Unfortunately the shop didn’t sell any item for women in that price range!

This is yet another trend that has caught up recently. Every husband around me has been buying the likes of Michael Kors, Burberry, Omega, the works. Some women show-off their latest additions on social networking sites. Others show-off only at social gatherings. The man becomes a hero and a ‘good’ husband.

This brings me to the point I’m trying to understand. Are women so materialistic? Are people right when they say that women get attracted to rich men? I feel so bad about us when I hear such allegations but then, sometimes I wonder if it is all true.

Now some would say that the grapes are sour. You see, my husband has never given me a surprise gift. Since I don’t work, he is the one who pays for everything I buy when we go to the store. He has given me cards which I can use when I go out alone. Sometimes I tell him that he should bring me gifts that I would like. I tell him that even a chocolate would mean that he thought about me and that would mean a lot to me.

That’s it. A gift only means that it was probably my birthday and someone thought about me and bought me something I would like. Or, someone ate a nice thing and bought an extra for me because he thought I would like it. Nothing more. A gift cannot make up for cheating on me. A gift cannot make up for being forgetful and insensitive and not being there when I wanted that someone to be there.

I am 100% sure that it means the same for other women. But they tend to give into the moment and forget about everything else. It’s time we let the world know that money cannot buy us everything.

Spread the word. 

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

What will you do, if someone was watching over you?

The following poem is for a Happy Hour campaign by Indiblogger sponsored by IDBI Federal LifeInsurance.  Bloggers have to pen down 5 things that they would do if they had a life without constraints, if nothing was holding them back. We have to share our hopes, dreams and aspirations if nothing was holding us back. I, for one, would travel, donate, plant more trees, indulge in arts, and Eat!

A life without worries
A life full of dreams
We all love to wander
And blow off some steam.
We love to shed inhibitions
But worries stop us in the way
If it were to us,
Wouldn’t we all just slip and slide away?

If only there was some kind of an ‘insurance’
That would protect us from all the evils
Things like sudden loss
Dangerous diseases or major upheavals.
If someone out there protected us from all this
Fear would get out of the way
We would tick things off from a bucket list
And just slip and slide away.

What will you do, if someone was watching over you?
Do you like me, love to Travel too?

I would to travel around the world
From Hawai to Pataya
See the Mummies in Egypt
Walk in Riyadh in an Abaya!
I would dance in Rio
And lay in the sandy beaches of Brazil
Would go to the highest peak in Switzerland
Just to get an awesome feel!

What will you do, if someone was watching over you?
Do you like me, love to Donate too?

I feel blessed to have so much
And want to share as much as I can
I always end up giving
A tad less than I plan.
If I had a truck load of money
I would give so much more to the poor
I would work more closely with them
And be a proud well-doer.

What will you do, if someone was watching over you?
Do you like me, love to plant trees  too?

I love mother nature
Hate to see her being polluted like this
The lack of forest cover
Is lessoning our bliss.
I would love to plant thousands of trees
Increase the green cover on earth
Then lay on that green grass
And be part of the real mirth.

What will you do, if someone was watching over you?
Do you like me, love Creativity too?

Writers have become rare
Painters are becoming obsolete
Movies come and go
Technology is hard to beat.
I would love to immerse myself in the arts
If there was no constraint
Just pen down stories and poems
With a brush in my hand, I’d just paint!

What will you do, if someone was watching over you?
Do you like me, love to eat too?

Palak Paneer and Mexican rice
Hakka noodles and Gajar ka halwa
This menu sounds mixed up
But I’ll gulp it down with Chicken Tikka.
But health is wealth, they tell me
So I watch what I eat
If I was #BeFikarUmarbhar
After every meal, I’ll eat a lot of sweet!

What will you do, if someone was watching over you?
Do you like me, wish for this bucket list too?

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

All Hail Hindu Mahasabha

On 15th of February, people from Kashmir to Kanyakumari can expect express delivery of Agre ka petha on their doorsteps. This is because Hindu Mahasabha has declared that they would marry off any couple found on the streets on V – Day i.e. Valentine’s Day. As quoted by The Times of India recently, they said, “While a prompt Arya Samaj wedding will be forced on Hindu couples, inter-faith partners will have to sit through a”shuddhikaran” (purification) ritual.”

Hearing this, all wedding celebrations taking place on V-Day i.e. 14th of February are shifting to the city of love, Agra. Relatives residing in this city are being called at the last minute to make arrangements for the stay of their nieces and nephews. Parents are relieved that they can now put aside a chunk of their savings for a retirement home in Switzerland. 

Some women are also eyeing the grand alimony that they can file for on D – day i.e. Divorce Day, 15th of February.

While most are happy with the free marriage ceremony bit, Baniyas and Sindhis are trying to make sure they get full and final payment for their baby who would arrive timely on C –Day i.e. 14th November, Children’s day.

Restaurant owners have been on the phone since morning for many boys have canceled reservations while the number of girls calling to book a table has nearly doubled. 

You can expect dharnas by wedding planners, jewellers, banquet owners, saree associations and Mangalam bhagwan Vishnu pandits all across the nation. The IRCTC website had crashed earlier in the day because of the waiting list bookings on all trains heading to Agra. You can expect the same for all airlines that touch base anywhere near this city.

There have been a lot of cancellations on flights to California where Indian gay couples were flying to tie the knot on this auspicious occasion. Meanwhile, some reports of 1000% increase in bookings from other Asian countries have emerged.

A new photo booth has been set up at the Taj Mahal for the newly weds. They would be provided lehngas and sherwanis for the photographs like they do in all hill stations.There will be regular buses to Fatehpur Sikri as well for those who want hatke pictures. 

A special dance performance is also on the cards by Wahrukh Khan so that couples don't feel that they are being treated like adopted kids being married without any pomp and show.

Facebook has uploaded a new feature on their page. Users who are going out on Valentines Day can schedule their change in relationship status from single to married. The change will come automatically by the end of 14th February so that congratulatory messages can sweep in. 

UP tourism ministry can be applauded on this grand gesture. Move over ‘Incredible India’ and ‘God’s Own Country’ -  'UP is the new destination to be'!

I’m yet again proud to be from the grand city of Nawabs!! Now I realise that Mayawati with her Gucci bag statue IS the only good thing that has happened to us in the last few years!!

Disclaimer: This is a piece of fiction written in good humour and sarcasm. If you don't like it, don't read it. But please don't ask me to take this down 'cause we have certain rights and freedom of speech in our democratic country. Or so I read in civics class in 7th standard.

Congratulations, Hypocrisy

AIB Roast has taken down their YouTube videos. And rightly so. They are such a kalank on our white washed society. How dare they try to malign our culture which has been kept so clean since time immemorial? Here are some amazing facts about the same:

Do you know, in our country, men watch no porn on their phones?

They read jokes only on Santa and Banta.

In colleges, boys speak to each other in language fit for the Queen, mi lady. The only cuss word they know is dog.

Our women, they watch only saas-bahu series on television. Those serials are highly educative teaching the women how to misbehave with their daughter-in-laws and how to kill a girl child.

Did you know our children love Munni aunty, Sheila aunty, Chameli aunty and Lovely aunty. They dance to their tunes and don’t feel embarrassed by what they are wearing.

They also watch Comedy Nights with Kapil which has absolutely no jokes degrading women.

We are not racist at all. What Fair and Lovely? – we don’t recommend it to anyone. Brahmin women clean our toilets and we serve them tea in our finest china.

Our political leaders are so clean – none of them have said things like ‘Boys will be Boys’ (when rapes happen in Uttar Pradesh), ‘Hindu women should have four children’, ‘Being Gay is a disease’, and the list goes one.

See, our country has the who’s who of saints. We chant. We go to Vaishno Devi. We pray to the Holy Cow. Heck, we even wash feet of young girls on Navratri. Child molestation, rapes – uhh, we never hear of them.

When you check our Google history, I bet you will not find Sunny Leone.

Okay, I’m done.

GROW UP PEOPLE! All India Bakchod Roast on Ranveer Singh, Karan Johar and Arjun Kapoor or AIB knockout was nothing but a lot of ‘non-veg’ jokes put together for an adult audience in a stand-up comedy. SIMPLE. A couple of jokes, and only a couple of jokes, could be termed as offensive, I agree. But we’ve been hearing/reading them since we were 12. We found them as funny as Flop Show of our times. Why do Indians have such double standards? 
If you don’t like it, don’t watch it -  just like I don't watch any saas-bahu series 'cause I find them so degrading. Sadly, for people who did like it, it’s down now.  

Congratulations Hypocrisy, you are here to stay in our country. 

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Nisha Sheds Inhibitions

I hopped over to a blog which had titles like the one above. I fell in love immediately. Here’s to many more like this one!!

So I’ve been this girl who’s always thinking ‘what will people think’. I got married to a boy who is never thinking ‘what will people think’. His casualness and ability to live life on his own term has been inspiring me and I’m starting to shed all my inhibitions.

There have been a lot of little things which are difficult to account for. Being married to him has literally given me a new life – one in which I can be myself. When I was younger, my mum use to walk behind me so that nobody notices my gait. Now I don’t blame her – she did the best she could to protect me from the world. But this guy, he walks with me, always gives me a hand, picks me up when I can’t climb, and never even notices that he’s doing something ‘different’. Now if I won’t learn from him, I won’t learn from anyone.

Other than these physical issues, which I really don’t want to talk about because they are so boring (!), there has been a lot of psychological changes as well. A few days back this girl – my father’s brother’s wife’s mother’s sister’s daughter (LITERALLY) pinged me on Facebook. This is what she wrote –

How are you
Any good news?

Now this question irritates every married woman. And when it comes from a total stranger – my blood practically boils. I’m a very patient and calm person, but something like this is absolutely annoying. There is a way to start a conversation with your acquaintances, this was totally crossing a line. Being me, I was polite and said – ‘Hi. I am good. No good news.’

I thought my straight forward reply will give her a hint. But she went a step ahead and asked me – ‘Are you not planning or you don’t want an issue?’

Imagine the audacity!!! I just wanted to write ‘none of your business.’ Even the Boy told me to say this. For the first time, I crossed the line, however politely, I said, ‘No offense, but I don’t think this is important.’

That was the end to the conversation! Really, WORLD – Grow up!!!!

In the second recent instance, I made a video on this blog. It was a big deal for me. I’m not too fond of my voice. I’m also aware that I make too many facial expressions. I’m too conscious of how I look. And I’m too worried of the fact that if I make a video for a few thousand rupees, what will people think!!

So this exercise was another way of shedding inhibitions. The first person to see this video was my friend Y who, sort of, worships me. Ahem! I needed a confidence boost so I also showed it to a couple of blogger friends. Only once they approved, I put it up.

Now we were asked to make this video public. I didn’t realise that it went up automatically on Google Plus as well. One of Boy’s colleague’s saw it and he forwarded it to the others. I wanted to run away from the country!!

Seriously, I couldn’t sleep well for one whole night. But then, I realised that my purpose was to let go and just be myself. And so I stopped thinking about it.

I’m all of 32 and still have a lot to learn. It’s one of my dreams to let go of ALL my inhibitions. One day, I probably will. 
Meanwhile, how concious are you about everything? Am I just like everyone else?